Why is no one freaking out over Mater from Cars? The guy lives in a junkyard full of car parts… which wouldn’t be that bad if he didn’t exist in a universe of talking cars
He sleeps surrounded by discarded organs and hollowed out corpses
The Cars universe is so fucked up if you give it more than twenty seconds of thought
oh my god i’m fucking sick of this generation’s mentality that your sadness is beautiful and somebody will fix you and all this fucking john green shit nobody will find you in a bookstore reading bukowski and want to lie with you and nobody will kiss your scars and you will not be like effie and freddie you’ve got to be your own fucking hero and surround yourself with positivity
and also I would really like for your cute dumb ass to venture to my door and apologize .
or you could tell me about your girlfriend before proceeding to make out with me that works too
and then you can fall asleep on my bed til 7am that’s also cool.
Angela’s endless embarrassments with the male race. someone arrest me.
So on new year’s eve my friend Lily and I prayed for my 2014 endeavors with the male species. Such prayers were called four on account of the fact that
a) The guys I hooked up with in 2013 turned out to be drug-addicts or drug-makers (yeah, at first I thought he was a dealer, but nope! Too hardcore for that. He’s the damn manufacturer. Cue the cute text from him the next morning: “Lol I’m sober enough to tell you now that when he hooked up I was totally on lsd.”)
b) The guy I wanted and who’s basically my soulmate has a freaking girlfriend who is not only pretty but also atrociously smart, funny, and a brilliant writer (fuck her) (basically everything I want to be in life).
c) The other guy I wanted completely friend-zoned me. Who the hell does he think he is, exactly?
d) There were others I won’t mention here
e) Oh, also! Shawarma guy who worked at pita-q and gave me a free shawarma when I was drunk and I promised to come back but forgot his name and all I know is he’s the hottest African I ever saw.
So, anyway, I entered 2014 with a fresh state of mind.
Then came K.
K, the person I’d always thought was the most perfect human on earth, decided to add himself to my list of guys that.. you know. And then a month later it happened again. And then I saw him at the dining hall and as we came face to face in front of the cutlery station and he was reaching for a fork, I –
I laughed a rude snicker as if to say “lol we fucked up this is embarrassing” and I walked away. I ruined my chance with K, the most perfect person.
And then came E. E whom I’d also been infatuated with but had gotten over suddenly, probably because all of us girls agreed, “he is unattainable. He does not get with first years. He is single. Because he’s too good for anyone”. Also, sharing a bathroom with this E might have removed the infatuation pretty quickly. He lives across the hall from me.
That didn’t stop me from getting with him at pub night while Cocaine Guy (hookup #1) witnessed it, as he happened to be the DJ. Never hook up with the DJ of the pub you frequent, ya hear me? Never.
Moral of the story is that I like too many people and God is punishing me.
My whole life consists of secretly loving people and them not noticing
do you ever just want someone to come over and lay on the floor with you for a while